covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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