it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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