he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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