it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize