The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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