considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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