She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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