things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
