I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize