So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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