My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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