new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
