I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
