I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
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Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize