how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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