I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
