So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize