I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
