He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
