does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
