I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
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that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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