First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
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So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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