ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
