white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize