Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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