thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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