But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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