My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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