So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
