i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
