just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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