We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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