Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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