Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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