so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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