how can u be prego again
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
