so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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