I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
