The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
