Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
