so that wasnt chicken after all
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
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I'm at about main and main street
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night