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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.

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• (315): View more from New York

  So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.

  (315): View more from New York

  They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.

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