I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
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