my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.