i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out