ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
