He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
