like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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