Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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