if i can run in heels then i can drive
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize