Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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