I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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