Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I want to make a zoo with you.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I enjoy the company of your penis
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
