I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
