a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
