Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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