Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize