You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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