my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
