i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
