we're blogging at a bar
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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