The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
