I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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